Category Archives: Poetic Literature
Once Again
Once again she has departed and I find myself alone and left to my own devices. Once again the beast inside me rears its ugly head beckoning me to enter into its dark chambers. Once again all that was laid to rest begins to surface and once again I find myself battling the temptations of sin. I pray for the stillness of my soul but the heaviness bears down on me and she is not near to help lift it.
She has always been my saving grace as well as my rock. It has been in her presence that I find my strength even though she is unaware of my darkness. It is her quiet and still manner that keeps the beast at bay and calms my sometimes restless spirit. She gives me peace of mind and my heart bathes in the joy which fills me with content for a while. She embodies all that is wonderfully beautiful in my eyes for her soul is one of innocence and virginity. She has not been contaminated with the vileness in life that I have experienced. Her heart knows not of corruptibility and she has been spared the pain and deceit of this world by a protective mother. Her upbringing, a stark contrast to mine has molded and prepared her for me. My lifes experiences beg a desperate need of her. For without her my life might have been doomed and incarcerated in dark perpetuity.
Once again in her absence it is the minutes, the hours, and the days that need filling for it is in my idleness that the beast thrives and gains strength. Once again indiscretion and futility strive to overpower me and dominate my actions. Once again I have danced with the notion of indulgence and I have entertained those would be regretful actions. Once again my mind and will were close to the doorstep of shameful exuberance.
Once again divinity intercedes and better judgment doth prevail. Once again it has been my time to show inner strength and mental fortitude. Once again it is upon me to rise to the challenge and confront the beast for once again I am reminded of just how flawed a human I am. Once again I have the opportunity in her absence to be the man that she needs me to be and the man I need to be for me. Once again I will gain more in depth insight into my inner being and become a better person from the experience.
Once again I have grown from the process and learned to appreciate her gentleness, her compassionate heart, her unyielding and uncompromising devotion, and her unconditional love for me. Once again she will return and life will resume with some sense of normalcy but who’s to say that this isn’t the designed normality for my life.
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Once again there are the questions and once again I am still seeking the answers. Once again she will be by my side through it all..….Once again we will embrace, once again we will talk, once again we will laugh and once again we will say I love you and we will have each other.. Once again for now and just maybe once again before and forever…
Written by; Al ( Africafifth ) DeVeaux Jr
Invisible
When you have no one to stand up for you or to help you fight your battles, who does one look to for support and reassurance during those periods of peril, turmoil and misdirected aggression that greets you at every turn? When you yearn for a quiet and peaceful place of solitude away from all of the conflict, who is there to teach you how to embrace the adversity and to press on and press through? What does one do when one is at the complete mercy of whomever is governing ones life and possesses an unmitigated control over every miniscule aspect of that life? What are the thoughts that flow through ones mind and what are the options? Invisible…
One would more than likely be encapsulated with an enormous amount of self-doubt, internal conflict, a defeatist mentality and lack of self-identity that would lend itself to an extreme disconnect from reality. Ones vision and reasoning becomes completely obscured and decisions now become irresponsible and reckless. There would undoubtedly be an overwhelming feeling of exasperation and hopelessness that would ultimately envelop the soul and hold captive the spirit of dreams. All that one is surrounded with are indicators of failure, confinement and restrictions with nothing that offers up possibilities for potential opportunities of change. Inside of you there stirs a constant desire and need for something more palatable than this seemingly meaningless existence and shell of a life but the doors of welcomed passage appear to be sealed indefinitely. This was a mindset and seemingly inescapable reality for me during a time in my life and currently appears to be the reality and aimless journey for a multitude of others in today’s society. Invisible…
One should take just a moment to ponder the hopelessness that one would feel if one were to be subjected to a life of obscurity, where our presence was meaningless. A life that presently reflects no semblance of promise and for all practical purposes is illustrative of defeat and void of meaning. How would one feel knowing that there was something more tangible in life for others but for you an elusive and ostensibly unattainable reality? Invisible….
As a nation of so many diverse ethnic groups we all at one time or another throughout the course of history til present day have experienced some form of discrimination or prejudice. We are extremely familiar with injustice and subjective bias. We offer no empathy or compassion towards our fellow being and are much to consumed with selfishness. We continue to treat each other with dis-respect, dis-courteousness and vitriol infused with a virulent antagonistic behavior. We reluctantly if ever take time to acknowledge the truth and the harshness of its reality unless of course it benefits our own agendas.
I can’t even begin to imagine what a life of absolute subjugation would feel like but I do have an idea of what imprisonment feels like. There are some similarities since both are forms of incarceration but not quite the same as living in the free world and watching that freedom and liberty being enjoyed by others on a daily basis. In prison there are walls that lock you in, guards and other forms of security to insure that there is no escape. In this world that we live in we often times become completely exasperated and full of self doubt because of walls that lock us in.. Walls erected of systemic oppression and discrimination and walls that some of us unknowingly create…Invisible
Granted, there are many obstacles in life that one must overcome but it is not as though the opportunities are not there. Exactly what is it that stands in the way and prevents a person from making progress in today’s free world? Could it be fear, lack of confidence or a lack of desire and a clear-cut method by which to achieve something of significance? This is the question that I struggle with constantly every single day to find an answer too.
Have we become imprisoned by our own doings or non-doings? We must honestly ask ourselves where does the real and absolute responsibility lay? Who and what are the roots of our problems and issues that somehow never seem to warrant our immediate attention or solutions for correction. Is it through eyes of fear that we gaze upon the improprieties of mankind and take no action? Why are we not able to separate ourselves from that segment of Black and white America that is rife with negativity, low standards and principles and declare our independence of it? Would not a pride of lions expel from their community that one culprit or culprits that reaps havoc, discourse and disruption for the sake of pride. Are we that afraid to take action for fear of being labeled a sellout or tom or even a snitch? Something is inherently wrong with this type of mindset…. Invisible…
Could it be that because there is a lack of real suffrage today people are without a driving force? Is it because we have allowed ourselves to lower our standards and expectations which in retrospect and coincidentally have compromised our morals and principles? It appears that this has in effect all but diminished our pursuit of excellence and the desire for outstanding accomplishments.. So with all that said, where does the answer lie?
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It is my belief that the answer lies within all of us. We as individuals and hopefully collectively can accomplish great things. First and foremost there has to be a raw evaluation of self. A truthful and honest look into what one as an individual must improve on or change in order to effectively make a difference not just in their life but in the lives of others whom they impact..
I may not possess much in the way of fortune but I can offer you an ear, a shoulder and a kind word. I can show you a smile and look at you with eyes of hope and share with you a heart full of compassion and empathy. I’m unable to erase your pain completely but I can help to make the moment lighter. I can share with you my struggles in life and offer you comfort in letting you know that the fight is not only yours. In this regard, just maybe we can forge a bond with a commitment of hope and determination in an effort to make a difference. We can pave the way and lay down the path with bricks to success….You are not invisible to me…
If this is accomplished we will move away from the realm of invisibility into the realm of visibility…
Written By Al DeVeaux Jr.
The Promised Land
It is said and written in scripture that the meek shall inherit the earth. I say that the earth will open her belly and swallow them up, She will only relinquish her bounty to those who will work hard, earnest and diligently to extract the promise she cradles within.. Still she does not guarantee to yield to all who come beckoning for her riches. The prospectors who come just as so many before them shall be cast by the wayside and never come to know her promise. The earth just as life owes no loyalty or favor to anyone. It is also written and said, We Reap What We Sow….
However, some of us do find favor…
I venerate with the utmost humility and gratitude those entities who are the conveyors of life, the purveyors of sustenance, the creators of humankind who transcend the confines of this physical realm and exceed the spiritual comprehension of man. I ask that they lay out the path before me and guide my steps along the way for I am prone to deviate from the course of moral righteousness, dignity, spiritual enlightenment and truth. My understanding and knowledge of this world has been limited to the written word of man and I have been misled by the teachings of those whose motives are self-serving and intentions are to instill illusions of dominance and superiority in those whom they seek to deceive and oppress.
I have with frequent fervor consumed the nectar of intoxicating elixirs. I have dabbled in various substances that delivered euphoric bliss which also held me captive with addiction both physically and mentally to their momentarily deliverance of well-being and escapism from my world of pain and disappointment. I have been beckoned and seduced by the sweet erotic poison of voluptuous, vivacious and sexually stimulating women of dark alleys and dimly lit passageways. I have coveted and partaken of their sensuousness and have felt the sting of their callousness and indifference. I acknowledge that I have lived a promiscuous life and that I have been a sexually charged and somewhat perverted human being who has for decades past lent himself to a life strewn with what some may consider to be highly immoral conduct and unforgivable transgressions.I am yet only human and I am man..
My journey has been one of decadence, resistance, rebellion, non conformity, irresponsibility, irreparable dismissal and total disregard for my physical, mental and spiritual well-being. I’ve rejected all concepts of religion, mans ideologies, structured establishments whose imbedded institutions and laws favored not my ascension to unparalleled heights of success but served to define my existence irrelevant.. My way has resembled that of scattered leaves fallen from Autumn trees or that of wind-blown sand on arid and dusty desert land. I have wandered through groves thick with illusions of grandiose splendor and fantasy. I have grown weary from exhaustive search of relevance and purpose. The sharpness of reality slices through my conscience and I have contemplated self-destruction for deliverance.
But mine is not mine to take as it is mine to make. The road is always longer when eyes are opaque and navigation requires direction. Ones ship need be righted, ones compass point need be sighted. The waves may rise full and high but temperament and fortitude need not subside.
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I look through the spectrum of heavens above and beyond for solace and peace of mind, body, soul and spirit. I have sought restoration from condemnation with earnest revelation of truth and knowledge to construct formation of foundation. Understanding comes through life’s experiences entwined with the deepest of want and desire. I have yearned incessantly for my moment of reconciliation. For I am in need of clarity and salvation.. The severity of shame knows no boundaries. Lamentation yields forgiveness for a heart of genuineness.
The promise of goodness. The promise of duty. The promise of worth. The promise is knowing and understanding that the greater the effort the greater the potential for yield. The promised land is the life we live. The promised land is the life we build. I have been given favor yet I fear that I will not live up to my promise. However, I promise that I will put forth a great effort and that I will work diligently at my purpose with goodness of heart.
This is my promised land…
Written by Al DeVeaux Jr. Africafith
I Know You ( A Silent Romance )
I KNOW YOU, YET I DO NOT
I EMBRACE YOU, MY ARMS ARE EMPTY
YOUR PRESENCE SURROUNDS ME, I AM NOT WITH YOU
I BURN INSIDE, MY FIRE YOU HAVE NOT FELT
YOUR BODY MOVES IN RHYTHMIC DANCE, I HEAR NOT THE MUSIC
MESSAGES HAVE BEEN SENT, MY LIPS REMAIN STILL
MY SOUL CALLS OUT YOUR NAME, YOU GIVE NO RESPONSE
SALACIOUS SHOWERS RAIN OVER ME, YOUR WATERS DO NOT FLOW
I KNOW YOU, I KNOW YOU, TIME AWAITS NO ONE
I HAVE WALKED IN YOUR PATH, YOU NOTICE ME NOT
MY HEART DOTH PAIN, YOU TEND NOT THE WOUND
I KNOW YOU, MORE THAN A LIFETIME IT SEEMS
MY EMOTIONS CALL OUT FROM STRAIN, BUT THERE IS SILENCE, SILENCE, SILENCE
ENERGY FORMS THROUGHOUT, RELEASE COMES NOT
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STAY AWAY DESISTANCE, LET ME KNOW AS I HAVE KNOWN
I HAVE KNOWN THE GENTLENESS, YOUR SMILE IS NOT FOR ME
I HAVE FELT YOUR SOFTNESS, I HAVE NOT TOUCHED YOU
YOUR NECTAR FLOWS FORTH A STREAM, I NEITHER DRINK NOR TASTE IT’S SWEETNESS
I BREATHE IN THE PERFUME OF YOUR SCENT, YOU ARE NOT NEAR ME
I KNOW YOU AS I HAVE KNOWN NO ONE ELSE BEFORE
I KNOW YOU IN THE DEEPEST RECESSES OF INTIMACIES
I KNOW YOU, I KNOW YOU, I KNOW YOU
I BECKON FOR YOU, TO NOW KNOW ME
WRITTEN BY: AL De VEAUX JR.
Junie B. (Break Me Off a Lil’ Someth’in)
Hey man, hey Mookie, What’s go’in on my brother? How you been do’in man?
Hey Junie B, what’s happen’in brother? Man, where have you been? Damn it is good to see you…… Look’in real solid my brother……….Been pump’in a lil’ bit huh?
Yeah brother, you know how it is…..Man, I gotta tell ya Mookie, it is harder than a mama’s titty at minus fifty out here man. S–t, a brother just can’t get himself broke off a lil’ piece of someth’in man.
Mookie glances down at his Timex and seems a little anxious like he’s got to get on about his business……
Hey Mookie, are you hear’in what I’m say’in,? Are you listening to what I’m putting down cause, whitey don’t give a s–t bout a brother these days baby. Never has and never will. Can’t seem to get my hustle goin man, can’t get my mojo up and roll’in brother cause the man got me so far down on the ground, I can’t even remember what blue sky looks like………Man my days have been noth’in but misty gray and the sun ain’t been shin’in on this brother. Cause if it did, this here brother would be a few shades darker man and flow’in like a cool breeze. I can’t put my finger on it but I know someth’in is just not right man. I’m say’in it’s getting hard just trying to catch a breath of air. Brother’s getting all strung up and broke up. Hey man, dig it, help me out and break off a lil’ someth’in for a struggl’in brother……..
Man I can’t do nothing for ya brother, I’m try’in to get myself a lil’ someth’in broke off. Just try’in to keep my head above water man else I’d be drown’in. You know a brother can’t swim to good as it is, so I’m just thread’in water man try’in to stay afloat. You know what I’m say’in?
Mookie’s getting a little more edgy and fidgety……Yeah brother, Right on-I feel you …….. Junie B continues, damn, can’t even stroll down the avenue man without these crazy ass pigs rolling up on a brother. Man, what is happen’in with all this harassment? Here I am minding my own business and they got me all jacked up like I’m some kinda criminal. Yeah me, Junie B….Cats just don’t know how a brother get tired of that s–t man and might just busta a cap off in they ass. Yeah, that’s what I’m talk’in bout man, gots ta keep it real up in here man, might just go gangster style on em. Just don’t know what time it is, you know what I’m say’in?
Mofo’s just don’t know, might just take a brother just a little too far with that s–t. Make a brother start act’in all crazy and wanna go ballistic. Might just have to break my foot off up in they ass keep push’in me. Yeah, but you know Junie B ain’t no violent person cause if I was, they be play’in the horns for these mofo’s. —-That’s right jack, be blowing out some Taps for them suckers round the the tombstones, full dress and 21 gun salute.— But like I said, Junie B ain’t about that violence man, know what I’m say’in? Do ya feel me brother? Junie B is a ladies man jack……, Junie B’s about shov’in it and all the ladies be lov’in it. I got just what they want and then some. That’s right brother cause Junie B got it like that…..
Right on brother, I can dig it, solid!!! Watch out now, what’chu talk’in about. Give me some skin baby…. Slap,Slap yeah right on baby–right on….HeeHeeHee Whooo baby yeah.
Hey Junie B, I gotta get going man, else I’m gonna be late for work.
Hey hold it -hold it—Hey don’t go nowhere man, I gotta holla at this cat com’in round the corner. Yeah, wait a minute. I’ll be right back…
Hey Dukie, say man where you going? Hold up man, slow your roll brother and let me Junie Bee get a few ticks with you. Hey Mookie, I’ll be right back.
Hey Dukie, what’s up brother? Damn homes, you are look’in fly. Man I gots to get into some of that. You are one genuine mack daddy. Man what kind of hustle you got going cause this here brother needs to catch a break. Know what I’m say’in. Let me put something in your ear man. Yeah, come on man I gotta get right man. What ya got brother? Hold it, hold it. Hey—Mookie!! Hey man, I’m gonna catch you on the rebound brother, I gotta school my main man Dukie here on a few issues of the current grapevine.. Gotta get broke off a lil’ someth’in. You know what I’m saying?
Mookie dashes off in a hurry trying to get to the bus just as it turns the corner. Thankful that he wasn’t delayed any longer by Junie B’s rhetoric.
Hey Dukie, check this out brother, I know you doing real good man cause you dress’in to the nines and smell’in like you just walked through the valley of sweetness. — Look man, I just need to you to let me hold a lil’ someth’in til I get back on my feet. Just til I get my hustle back on man.. I’m good for it brother, you know that. Look man, how long have we known each other?
Man since kindergarten brother but I just don’t have it to give Junie B… You know if I had it, I’d lay it on you man but I just— Hold up Dukie—-Hold that thought….
Oh– My– God, Lord Have Mercy…..would you just look at that…. Mmm-Mmm-Mmmph—Damn that is one fine ass sister over there. Who is that???? Hold it,wait a minute, is that Honey Mae? Yeah man that’s Honey Mae Lewis. Man, last time I seen her was in High school just before I caught that bid. Damn she sure has blossomed and filled out all over. Man oh man, that woman sure know how to make that booty shake. Good Lord Damn shake it baby—shake that money-maker Honey.
Hey Dukie, I’ll be right back I feel a buzz com’in on and I got my stinger ready brother. Hey Honey, Hey, hold up now girl and let Junie B. have a sip of that honey drip…BzzzBzzBzzzz….Come on now baby, let old Junie B talk to ya for a few ticks. I just need you to break me off a lil’ someth’in…..
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Dukie yells out to her as she strolls down the avenue, bye Miss Honey Mae and begins to chuckle.. Damn, brother she sure put it on you man, damn. Junie B feeling his manhood and ego a little bit damaged looks at Dukie, collects himself then yells back at Honey Mae, why you want to go and treat a brother like that?—- I wasn’t interested in your old ugly stank behind anyway. I was just trying to make a sister feel good. Ought to be thankful that a brother even give you the time of day.
Junie B then looks at Dukie, damn she one fine ass sister and what she talk’in about get a job? Junie B ain’t about to hold down some nine to five working for whitey only to get some pennies. Job, man don’t she know that I am a player brother? The ultimate hustler and why you got to go being all nice and s–t talk’in bout bye Miss Honey Mae? You cramp’in my style with that Gomer Pyle s–t man..
Dukie then glances at Junie B with a little grin and with a shake of his head says, Man I gotta get to stepp’in brother, I’ll catch you later. I told my girl that I would pick her up some milk and eggs from the corner grocery store man. And as he begins to turn and walk away the words ring out through the air once again, hey brother, break me off a lil’ someth’in?
Does this have a familiar ring to it?
Most likely it probably resonates with the majority of us because we all have known a Mookie, a Dukie and of course a Junie B… They may have been a brother, an uncle, nephew, cousin, friend and heck, even a father. They were just a few of those characters in our neighborhood that we have come to love and know so well. Embraced by some and vilified by others but nonetheless they were and are a part of Black America back in the day. They remind us of a beautiful time of retrospect and rhetorical jive. A time when we were a people who were coming into relevance, recognition, Black pride and Black Power.. These characters were just a few during a period of racial strife and inequality when we were empowered and inspired by the Black Power movement. A period when we as Black people shared a common respect and appreciation for one another which somehow has been eviscerated over the generations. A time when we lifted each other up as opposed to tearing each other down.
This ring however has become much too familiar and lends itself to some of the negative stigma that continues to envelope and handicap our people today.. Almost every one of us can identify with it but today it has lost it’s luster.
Today we still have the Mookies, The Dukie’s and the Junie B’s. The only difference is that these brothers today don’t have any direction, honor, or self-respect whatsoever. Today these brothers are dropping out of school, joining street gangs, dis-respecting our woman and elders as well as murdering each other on the streets of urban America. We don’t respect each other and consequently, no one respects us.
Just as we can identify with this, the rest of America and the world sees it also. Simply put, this scenario, these images are what is played out to the millions of people every single day and we have got to change it. We must take an honest look at ourselves, get back to the basics and try to reclaim that sense of urgency, pride and empowerment. We are so much better than what we see and what we are producing. We are the trend setters of the world and if you don’t believe this just listen and look at other folk around you. Who are they talking like? Who are they dressing like? Who are they dancing like? Who are they trying to look like? Who do you think they get their swag from? Just take a moment to look and listen. The fist bumps, the hey bro and hug when they greet each other, the walk and the vernacular just to name a few.
Yes, they will embrace everything that we are except us. So why is it that we do not embrace and love who we are and recognize the powerful and undeniable influence we possess. We have been duped into disliking ourselves and one another by our counterparts while they attempt to take ownership of everything that we have introduced from our culture. I remember when we were ridiculed and mocked by them for the way we talked, the way we dressed, the way we danced, the high fives and the manner in which we greeted one another. Yet today I see how much we are copied and also sadly to point where they refer to one another with the N-word. It would not surprise me if they eventually laid claimed to it since we have desensitized it’s true meaning and made it trendy.
We need to invoke a powerful and positive trend towards being the masters of our destiny as individuals and a people. This will evoke a rejuvenated people of pride and dignity who will bring forth a more admirable and more ambitious generations of Mookie’s, Dukie”s and Junie B’s that the world will have to reckon with.
We don’t need to be like Junie B always asking to be broke off a lil’ someth’in. Some of us are looking for the white man to break off a lil’ something like (reparations). I say we need to break off a lil’ education, break off a lil’ knowledge, break off a lil’ self-love, break off a lil’ self-respect, break off a lil’ self-awareness, break off a lil’ empowerment, break off a lil’ courage and determination.
And once we have done this, then my brother’s and sister’s let us break off a lil’ someth’in.
How about we break off a lil’ bit of America!!!
Now that’s what I’m talk’in about!!!!
Written By: Al DeVeaux Jr.